GRRRRR!!!! Such a Grouch I am

We've two days of practice/prep before the Christmas program and I am so stressed . . . and I am soooo exaughsted. Last night I was up till about 1:00 am working on these table decoration things. I'm not getting any sleep tonight I'm afraid. Then mom's knee gave out on her. Pinched nerve or something, so the help that I had there, that I was counting on, is no longer there.

Hmph, I'm having a pitty party. Yes I'll have some cheese! :-p

Oh goodie, school pictures just arrived (the proofs) Yikes! I gained 10-15 lbs for the picture, but I look pretty decent. ERG! I need to get more active (besides the daily stuff I do with the kids at P.E.). Can't seem to get rid of the excess wieght, it's another one of those family curses. Probably could do it, if I lived on my own again. Then I wouldn't be surrounded by the wheats and such that seem to linger in the house. We can't have corn in the house because mom has problems with it, but I have problems with wheat, we still have to have all the breads and pastas in the house because everyone else wants them. Bread is one thing, just regular loaf of bread, I can resist, but bagels . . . that's tough. Whenever I cook, I get harrassed as well. "What's in this?" "Is there anything else" It's not because it isn't good, in fact it is usually very good, and good for you, but it has "to much" (just a pinch is to much) of some herb or seasoning that even without a taste gets a turned up nose. I guess . . . living with parents again is . . . I love my parents, and I get along with them pretty good, It's just. I like being independent, I like to do what I want to do when I want to, not depending on everyone elses schedule, or put into theirs without being asked if I would be interested, just assumed, etc. It works out though to live at home becuase I'm able to put more down on my student loans and such. After this school year is up though, I'm thinking I've got to get my own place again. Oh well, it will take longer to pay off those student loans, and I will have to do without some 'luxuries' . . . If not for my weight alone, but for my independent sanity. I'll have to get a roommate though, living alone can be . . . it's nice to have someone to talk too and not have to be on the phone or on the computer to do so . . . and do I continue here? There is so little in the means of singles, or young adults. I never wanted to settle, but it seems that's what I'm doing right now. So many dreams and plans, and a feeling that I'm called for something, but it's not working out right now. HA! a friend of mine says I just need to marry a wealthy man. Sure! :)

I guess I'll just put the going back to school for a masters aside. It seemed like that's what God had in mind for me, but now it's not working out, so what is the plan? Only He knows, and I really wouldn't mind a little hint about now.

Well, I've got 30 minutes before all the students will be meeting me over at the church for a quick run through the program pieces they are performing tomorrow night. God give me patience, I'm seriously lacking right now, and the exaustion can't be helping any. As evidence of my pitty party above. This is going to be an interesting two days.

Late nights . . . I can't wait till friday!!! :D